During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
