I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
