You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize