I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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