Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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