he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
