I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize