My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
