I want to stick my p in your. b.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
