Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
