I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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