Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
