Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
