Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
