Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
