Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
