so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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