Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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