There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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