i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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