Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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