dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
