I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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