Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
