A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
