Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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