After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
