Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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