Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
