i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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