pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
