I wish I could teleport
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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