Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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