He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
All I want is dick and wine.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize