At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
you had me at cake vodka
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
