I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
