we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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