the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
