I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
