On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
