I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
