you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
