so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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