Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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