Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
