dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
