Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
no you cant smoke seaweed
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He better not be in your backpack
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
