why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
