I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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