do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
