You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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