I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
