I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
