I hope mine doesn't look like that
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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